Look Ma!!! No Hands!!!

Look Ma... No hands!!!" is on occasion, an exclamation that accompanies declarations of independence from children who've gotten the hang of riding a bicycle without the support of a teaching parent! Some mom's upon hearing this declaration recognize it as that inevitable and ceremonious "flying of the coop" for their children. A second and final "cutting the cord" if you will... the first being the physical severing of the connection between them at childbirth.

Ironic that this statement emblazons upon the psyche of the mother the delusion that there are no longer any VISIBLE LINES OF SUPPORT! Ironic to me because that tag-line: "no visible lines of support" was used by Playtex during the late 70s as part of a marketing of brassieres that provided lift without looking like they did. Mom's whose bodies had grown distorted from their pre-childbirth forms worked hard to show how easy it was to look like they never did...(carry, nurture, deliver, nurse, care for and educate) their newly independent children.

Sadly ironic is that the actions of both mother and child were at once absolute and abstract. Absolute in that the intent of child saying I can do this all on my own, and of mom showing off something close to a pre-pregnancy physique were declarations of independence. And in an abstract sort of way... declarations of interdependence whereupon no matter how loudly the child proclaimed or how obvious the mother works to look like she hasn't had children...there will always be that connection!

There will always be a mother's love that keeps her child in the fold. That always keeps her empty nest crowded with children who're "All Growed Up"[sic]. This connection will always be cause a woman's intuition notwithstanding...a mother's love is longsuffering, full of worry for all that could happen to her child. The strings to her heart cannot be surgically severed...
She will ALWAYS worry about her children, and she will always have emotional ties that will forever bind them one to another!

The question then (and the point of this post) is; what becomes of a mother's love when it's transposed to one who's not of her womb? How is that same concern for others, often to the detriment of self, managed? To wit, the question of being SUPPORTIVE is "crazy!!!" as one such mother is fond of saying...when the person being supported is not a child and worse still...is a GROWN ASS MAN!!!!(GAM) When the only reason the mother with her own, sometimes overwhelming, set of responsibilities are compromised...because he (the aforementioned GAM) is DISTRACTING!!! When as a matter of happenstance...a void of affections focused solely on the mother is filled, and she feels every bit the WOMAN that MOTHERHOOD had pushed to the proverbial BACK BURNER! Ironically, I just got a text message from one such mother and she says matter of factly...that the woman inside is dying to get out and to be fulfilled...to live life for herself!!!

Here's the tangent, that is the point of this post! I find myself in dire straits...and ideologically scrambling to reclaim the MOJO that made me desirous in spite of my diminutive stature! I am quite confident about who I am, cocky even...but it seems during the past year of living dangerously...I've barely been able to manage my affairs, alternately looking for work in corporate Amerikkka and struggling to get my IT consultancy off the ground. In the end I reached a tipping point which caused my life to fall like a house of cards. In the aftermath...a beautiful woman shone to be the direction I should go...moreso than my muse... it became obvious that she was the mate to my soul. We began to plan for our future together
And as we became more comfortable, we opened up more to one another about gaps that required filling.

The more gaps were filled, the more gaps became apparent...until one day it was obvious that we were further apart than when we'd begun our collective Sojourn of Truth. As these things are want to do from time to time...we went our separate ways and at first it was quite unpleasant!! Today however, it seems we understand why things happened the way the did; that Nothing worth having is going to be easy! We are now revisiting the feelings of love we've had for one another since we first met in cyberspace!

We met and connected in cyberspace...she: the mysterious intellectual from the city of brotherly love, me: the bohemian technocrat from the windy city...living in the charm city! Again she texts me...suggesting I'm being inconsiderate by not yielding on things that I was previously unyielding on! I don't know what will come of us...I hope and pray we get together and soon, cause I miss her terribly! But having been through the past month of few highs and far too many lows...I am willing to take the risk to show that I too dream a life where she and I are together as Man and Woman, Wife and Husband. And I can only do this when I know that the only questions of support are those re: our collective endeavors and us supporting one another in pursuing them. And that the only strings attached to our relationship are the ones from our hearts. I know she doesn't need my financial support, but my emotional state and it's need for support from my life partner is inversely proportional to my ability to financially support myself and participate equally in the dispensation of the day to day! I dream a life with her as my soulmate where we are riding a bicycle built for two and I can declare our interdependence on one another by saying quite simply: "Look Ma, no hands!!!"